Hey babe. I know this might probably catch you (and Elfi) by surprise, but I can’t help but to give my two cents worth after reading this whole post. Before I begin though I’d like to apologize if you ever feel like I’m a kpo or anything that is the likes of that trait. 

I just wanna say that I’m sure by now you know that Elfi’s a great guy, a faithful one at that. You should know better than I. Please do not feel insecure about his past, because he has so much to offer and by the looks of it, he makes you really happy. On my end, I am truly happy with where I am in life too, and I am glad Elfi has found someone truly worth keeping. 

I am not gonna give all the nonsense advise telling you to take care of him blablabla cos I am pretty sure you’re doing a great job at that. I just want to let you know that you both are perfect for each other and that I am truly, truly happy for the both of you. Look forward to great things because with Elfi, there’s bound to be surprises every step of the way. Just a thought. 

I’m sorry if I offended you in any way, I really didn’t mean to. That’s the very last thing I wanna do. I apologize truly beforehand should any misconception come about with regards to this note. Stay happy together.

Cheers!

Xx.

alltherightwordsandthought:

Its 2.11am. Usually I would be asleep at this timing on my comfortable bed with my security blanket. I don’t know why I just can’t seem to get myself to sleep. Insomnia?  

Anyway, Elfi has already gone to bed and I do not want to disturb his sleep so here I am watching TV all alone in the living room and tumblr-ing at the same time. Advertisement at night are senseless and scary. Since there was nothing nice for me to watch on TV, I picked up my phone and re-read all the conversations and text Elfi and myself had exchanged. Without knowing, I was smiling and laughing to myself. 

Most of the texts - apart from me scolding him, there were mostly morning texts that he never fails to surprise me bright and early in the morning. How he never fails to say those three words to me every single day. Sometimes I wonder, how come God never let me meet him sooner? Nonetheless, I believe He had this planned out for a reason.

As I keep on scrolling on to my earlier messages, I realize how lucky am I to have find someone who does not dwell on my past and most importantly accepts me despite all my flaws. I really wonder why can’t I do the same for him. I mean I kept dwelling on his past and even get upsets with him over such small things that can be avoided. I was so insecure, I do not even know why. I blame my past relationships for me being such a paranoid bitch. However, things started to get better after I talk things out with him - after listening to what he said, I am convinced that he truly loves me. I loved how patience he is with me despite me being so egoistic. Sometimes my egoism gets the better off me. Once I saw him cry - i knew it was entirely my fault, yet I refuse to say sorry. When he took my hand to apologize even though it was not his fault, I truly regretted my whole actions. How could I hurt someone who loves me so much. How could I hurt someone who said “I want you to become my wife” It was then I realized - ‘yup, i found the right one this time’.

I won’t deny that we still fought sometimes over some little teeny tiny stuff but we know at the end of the day, both had to apologize and everything will be back to normal again. I won’t deny that I still get insecure and jealous at time but I have to trust him. I came across this phrase ” Relationships without trust is like ipod without music, no use”. 

I can’t really imagine my days without him when he will be going to serve NS. I am so used to texting him and calling him everyday. Thus, i appreciate every single seconds I spent with him. I think I will cry myself to sleep every night without me listening to his voice.

Without a doubt, my boyfriend Elfi is a keeper. I love you so much Elfi Zarith. :’)

*I should be asleep by now…*

I have always been in awe whenever it comes to Islamic weddings and marriages simply because it is the merging of not only two individuals who vow to be in each other’s company with tranquility, peace, harmony, LOVE, mercy, compassion etc, but also the merging of two entirely different families.

I have never pictured myself getting married due to unfortunate circumstances. Despite having had a boyfriend for 3 years, I never really did picture myself being married. What are the odds, eh?

I have read aplenty articles about Marriage in Islam and it has came to light that marriage is indeed, something that is highly encouraged in our beautiful religion. What also came to light was the fact that I finally knew I wanted to enter that phase of life with somebody who is destined for me. Whoever he may be (of course I have one person in mind, but who’s to say?), I want to be ready for it. Marriage is never easy, never always rainbows and butterflies yet at the same time never continuously challenging. It is beautiful and unique, and it is shared solely between two people of different worlds coming together on the basis of Islam and compromise.

I may dislike a certain attribute of the person I’m gonna marry. He might be hot-tempered or confusing or simply lazy. I cannot expect him to eradicate his flaw, although you must agree sometimes you wish they could just do it. I have to understand that he’s merely human too; and humans are flawed. I could just work around his flaws and ‘guide’ him to slowly alleviate those bad habits. I will not suppress them because suppressing could lead to an erupting volcano but I can, indeed, slowly alleviate them.

I guess that’s what wives do? I don’t know really, I’m not a wife myself. But marriage has always been such a captivating entity to me. It goes without saying that I often wonder what it is like to become a wife, and what it is like to become a husband. It is sometimes beyond our imagination but when the time comes we will all find out and be ready for it, InsyaAllah.

I love simple weddings. I don’t have a, what say you, ‘dream’ wedding. I only have a dream wedding gown. My idea of a wedding ceremony should be something along the lines of…

1. Henna and marhaban night

2. Nikah with only few close relatives as witnesses in a mosque

3. My husband’s side will provide the food for luncheon. That too, to a crowd of say 400-600 people.

Simple isn’t it? I do not like the idea of a ‘dais’ or a ‘pelamin’ and neither do I like the idea of changing into 3 or 4 outfits, do not ask me why. That part of a wedding has never captivated me. I believe the beauty of a woman is solely for her lawfully wedded husband. But what can we do, in this wretched society we dwell in? My stand would be since most of me has already been exposed, why further expose it? I do hope you keep an open mind and open your 2nd eye.

Here comes the best part - the dowry. According to the sayings and doings of our beloved Prophet, the husband’s side has to give gifts as a form of Mahr to the bride. This is for her to keep. It could be inanimate objects like teaching me how to read the Qur’an, or things like jewelery.

I have of course imagined and inevitably decided on my dowry from my future husband. InsyaAllah he will be able to give me 25 silver coins. That is all I ask for. 25 silver coins. I am a simple person and the simplest things make me happy. 25 silver coins will be helpful in the long run, knowing where this world is heading to. Other than that I wish to be guided in the religion even after marriage, throughout the entire journey. It is definitely such a blessing if a woman marries a man who guides her strongly in Islam, and their household is based on Islam and her imam is the very same man she wakes up to every morning. Such a blessing.

So that is how I want my wedding day to be. It doesn’t have to be the grandest, yet it doesn’t have to be too brief. This, I can say, is my dream wedding.

With that, I wonder who is made for me out there. He is walking the earth just as I am too. Well to my future husband, I am preparing myself for you. Hehehe. I don’t know who you are, I just hope that you will be my answered prayer. InsyaAllah. With faith, what’s there to worry? :)

I have been pondering lately over a stick or two.

When we die (of course, in a Muslim context) our body returns to Him, the Al-Mighty. I have failed to realise the depth of this movement. I was pondering deeply about all our births; we come out from our beloved mothers’ wombs pure and clean, without a speck of dust, dirt or sin. Of course as Muslims we all know that this life is not eternal, we have a hereafter and this earth is only a means to the hereafter.

With this I conclude that the body we ‘own’, is rented. Our sole purpose is, by right, to do good deeds and obey The One. Without a body we are not able to do so. Thus, he grants us a healthy body (although some are not as fortunate) for us to be able to carry out our duties as servants.

Yet most of us during this journey of enriching our souls tend to be oblivious and ignore the state of our body. This is why we were taught a perfect Way of Life. We avoid destroying our bodies and causing any form of damage to it if we were to put into practice what is taught to us.

Take for instance smoking. This is the very reason why I had this sudden thought. Smoking damages our body internally, externally and we have no clue the gravity of damage a mere stick can cause. We take it for granted that we’re not ill so we carry on smoking (yes, I admit, I am guilty…) but what we fail to realise is… eventhough we don’t harm our body, we know it’s damaged. Maybe not wholely, but slightly (don’t get me started on how the chemicals in a cigg can damage our DNA with each inhalation).

Imagine returning to your Lord with a damaged body, after Him ‘renting’ it to you in perfect condition. Where’s the fairness in that? This is exactly what made me want to stop further damaging myself. Yes words are cheap, very cheap indeed. So before I further validate my stance, I shall substantiate my stance with deeds. We will see how things roll out.

Unless of course He takes away the advantage and gives you an illness without you having to damage your own body, we have no power to control that.

Aside from smoking, consuming alcohol damages your body too, if not a large scale. It is a long-term damage process which occurs slowly overtime and before you know it, you’re experiencing hangovers and tipsy episodes and your liver starts to give way. Self-inflicting damage.

Why should you inflict damage in yourself. There are many inevitable factors but I have decided to minimize these self-inflicted damage because to Him we return, and to Him my body belongs. He gave me a perfect and pure body to begin with, it is only fair if I return as clean and undamaged as I can be. I hope I made sense.

Just a thought :)

I miss my boyfriend :/

- A msg from Love to me on the topic of Phuket. 

jesuisperdu:

morgan tepsic

an innocent man died. 

rideronthedrumbeat:

And it’s no coincidence that in the 1980s, Georgia prosecutors sought the death penalty for 70% of black defendants with white victims, but for only 15% of white defendants with black victims. (Source)

Racial prejudice and discrimination is pervasive throughout our justice system, and you cannot pretend otherwise. The systemic oppression inherent in the death penalty needs to be addressed and dealt with.